see more things

In my jobless time, I was doodling overwhelmed randomly. Then, I made a vainly drawing. Not pretty much good. Yeay, I'm a vivid amateur, indeed. But that drawing just potray what my silly brain think.  One of things which I dream about. So what my brain think isn't just like a trash buried nowhere hehe.

Yes right. I want to see around, listen unusual stuff, move my body out, open and accept a new better mindset from somewhere out there.

Don't you?

Dear God, I need to talk.

“Ya Allah, jika engkau mengetahui perkara ini lebih baik bagiku dalam urusan agamaku, kehidupanku, dan kesudahan urusanku -atau urusan dunia akhiratku-, maka putuskanlah dan mudahkanlah urusan ini untukku, kemudian berkahilah untukku di dalamnya. Ya Allah, jika engkau mengetahui bahwa itu buruk bagiku, baik dalam urusan agamaku, kehidupanku maupun kesudahan urusanku -atau urusan dunia akhiratku-, maka palingkanlah ia dariku dan palingkanlah aku darinya serta putuskanlah yang terbaik untukku di mana pun berada, kemudian ridhailah aku dengannya”

Finally, met endah and resha.

Hihi finally, watched endah and resha's performance :D

On friday night, laras rida and I enjoyed it enthusiastically

photos by me, laras and talita.

(I met talita, lily and sisil on there anyway)

endah and resha :)))

@barrylikumahua so cute in his bass performance

with endah minus resha huhu

Awesomeness, Anies Baswedan.

This morning, I met him.

He's not my boyfriend or a kinda someone like that.

Yaaa but he's Mr. Anies Baswedan. Ok, seorang Anies Baswedan *bentar jerit dulu KYAAAAAAA.

With honor, I adore him overwhelmed.

That's way i'm so excited HAHA.

Tadi pagi, Pak Anies ngadain roadshow Indonesia Mengajar, acaranya Himafi Fkip unej gitu.

Iya pagi-pagi yg biasanya hari sabtu msh di kasur, udh dijemput ama si laras hehe maklum nebeng.

Pas uda nyampe, udah penuh lumayan, kita mau cari tempat strategis di dpn langsung biar deket ama pangung, gak bisa hehe. Kita uda duduk di belakang aja, tapi untung ada mbak mutia. Dia ada tempat duduk kosong, gak depan2 amat tp lumayan bgt, walopun di pinggir haha leher aku ama laras jd radak belok gmn akhirnya 4 jam disitu. Tapi makasih mbak mutia :D

And finally, it's super crowded. Almost 700 participant fullfilled that hall.

Dan 4 jam acara itu, gak kerasa bener.

Tapi kita berdua nyesel, lupa bawa hal yg penting. KAMERA! ih nyesel pake banget banget.

Pertamanya sih diisi ama hiburan2 gitu, eh ada yg seru loh.

Namanya Tanoker Ledokombo , ini salah satu komunitas belajar di Ledokombo Jember. Disitu mereka bisa ngembangin bakat dan kreativitas, salah satunya lewat Egrang. Aku uda pernah baca sih profilnya di majalah kab.jember, tapi belom pernah liat live performencenya.

Ternyata kereeeen banget. Hehe audience pada seru nontonnya, positif bgt responnya, termasuk pak Anies sendiri.

Jadi mereka bikin tarian atau gerakan dg pake egrang, nah dan egrang itu gak smua orang bisa. Susah.

Setelah itu langsung diisi ama talk shownya pak Anies, and HE'S REALLY REALLY AWESOME.

Karismatik banget orangnya ih sumpah.

Beliau cerita banyak tentang Indonesia Mengajar yang beliau gagas sejak tahun 2009.

Beliau bilang kalo tujuan negara yang yang tercantum di pembukaan UUD itu bukan cita2 yang bisa dikompromikan. Yang kalo gagal, trus kita bisa ngerevisi cita2 kita Tapi itu janji. Iya janji kemerdekaan, yang harus dipenuhin ama Indonesia. Mencerdaskan bangsa. And it's mean, that's definetely our promise.

Sebenernya kalo ditanya apa kelebihan Indonesia, buka SDA nya tapi SDM nya. Yang nentuin berhasil tidaknya sebuah bangsa itu manusianya. Kita jangan pernah sekali kali berfikir ala penjajah yang ngeliat Indonesia cuma sebagai onggokan intan emas rempah yang manusianya cuma bisa dibodoh-bodohin.

Jadi manusia Indonesia itu harus worls class competence, tapi harus punya grass root understanding. Maksudnya jadilah manusia yg punya kemampuan internasional, tapi tahu bener akar rumput permasalahan paling dasar negara. Kalo kita tahu bener dan mau turun tangan buat yg paling dasar, ketika kita muncul diatas, semua bakal beres.

Bener kata pak Anies, kadang kita ngeliat Indonesia cuma dari jeleknya, padahal banyak yang baik tapi kita kayak tutup mata. 

Indonesia bisa ikrar satu bahasa persatuan saat sumpah pemuda'28 bahkan sebelum terbentuk negara. Uni eropa bahkan sampai sekarang gak bisa nyatuin satu pendapat untuk satu bahasa dan masih menggunakan 22 bahasa yang berbeda.

India, mulai merdeka sampe detik ini cuma bisa menigkatkan angka melek huruf sebanyak 30%, tapi kita Indonesia sejak merdeka hingga sekarang sudah bisa menigkatkan angka melek huruf 80%.

Hebat, tapi jarang yang mau  melihat.

Emang masalah pendidikan itu complicated banget. Kadang kita nyalahin sistem, kadang nyalahin yg diatas. Tapi menyalahkan, toh gak merubah apa apa.
Masalah pendidik salah satu unsur penting yang ada.
Kita itu sering underestimate sama profesi guru yah, guru yang gak sejahtera lah, yang gak berkualitas lah, yang gitu2 aja hidupnya.
Tapi semangatnya itu yang patut dicontohin patut ditularin.

Beliau bilang kalo mengerjakan sesuatu, jangan kejar takaran nilainya. Tapi lakuin terbaik yang kita bisa, dan lihat ntar hasilnya bahkan bisa jauh melebihi apa yang kita targetkan.

Kita jangan hanya jadi penggerutu keadaan, tapi nyalakan lilin buat merubah keadaan. Satu lilin gak masalah, tapi mungkin dengan satu lilin itu kita bisa bikin yang lain menghidupkan lilin-lilin juga.

Jangan takut ngelakuin sesuatu yang kita dan agama yang kita yakini bener.

Inspired banget.

Pengen. Pengen. Pengen.

Up. Up.

Kalo liat lulusan pengajar mudanya, oh men, ngiler.

Background pendidikannya, pengalaman organisasinya keren keren.

Dan buat tahun ini ada lo, mas Fandi, alumni unej anak ekonomi 2005 yg masuk jadi pengajar muda angkatan IV dan berangkat tugas tahun ini.

Iya emang yang bisa daftar, harus kurang lebih 2 tahun setelah lulus fresh graduated gitu lah.

Dan nyesel gak dapet kesempatan tanya, gak dapet kesempatan foto uuu.

Aku iri ama endah ama ima temen kampusku, jadi mereka ikut lomba esaynya dan menang.

aa mereka foto ama pak Anies Baswedan. Eksklusif diatas panggung.

Hehe tapi congrats yaa, kalian keren.

Aku mau berguru ke kakak guru endah aaah.

Tapi dapet kesempatan jabat tangan ama salim ke beliau.

Dan, deg-degan parah hahaha sumpah aku ama laras norak banget deh tadi aduuh.

Tapi emang ya kalo orang karismatik, wibawanya keluar, jadi cakeep bgt aduh bapak ampun.

Kita ke pak Anies heboh dan bersemangat demi bisa gitu, karena yg lain jg pengen foto ama beliau

Ketemu artis aja gak pernah gini-gini banget deh aku.

Tapi seneng sekaligus norak banget banget hihi.

And TARAAAAA I got his signature in my book :D duh norak norak, biar lah ya bodo amat tapi hehe

.

duh fotonya surem gmn haha biarin aja

pak aniesnya ketutup, angle fotonya gk dapet yg bagus.nyesel

Suatu hari pak, moga bisa ketemu bapak lagi in being  much better person dan bisa menginspirasi banyak orang lain juga. Amin.

Makasih bapaaak :)

semacam terbang ketinggian.

Apa yang salah dari orang yang terbang ketinggian?
Takut jatuh?

Ehem klasik emang, tapi bener.
Ada orang bilang, raih mimpi lo setinggi langit-langit kamar aja. Karena kalo di langit beneran, jatoh, sakit rasanya.
Mengharapkan lebih orang lain itu semacam terbang ketinggian.
Mengharapkan lebih diri sendiri itu juga semacam terbang ketinggian.
The difference, big expectation to someones else, you'll never know when they let you down.
Mengharapkan diri sendiri, kita lebih having a control. Istilahnya kalopun jatuh, kita bisa nyiapin parasut sebelumnya karena kita yang kontrol perasaan kita sendiri.
Tapi kalo expect someone else, rasa jatohnya bakal lebih sakit dan susah sembuh.
That's why I choose to expect my own self.
Trying to keep my dreams tight.
It doesn't matter, how high it is.
It doesn't matter, how peoples look.
It doesn't matter, how people take it lightly.
Aku masih dan selalu percaya kalo Allah itu Maha Mendengar.

After all, actually boleh banget kita terbang ketinggian.
Jatuh pun gak masalah.
Karena kalo gak pernah jatuh, kita gak pernah tau rasa sakitnya jatuh kayak apa.
Karena kalo gak pernah jatuh, kita gak pernah tau caranya bangun.

"Jangan terbang tinggi-tinggi...Nanti kalau jatuh sakit rasanya"

"Tapi kalau nggak terbang tinggi nggak bisa lihat pemandangan indah..."

- Andai Ia Tahu -

mencintai itu...

Hulu tak bermuara. Hukum alam mengharuskan setiap hulu bermuara. Kashva menyadari sesuatu telah berhenti. Peluangnya untuk memberi. Harus pergi, sementara benaknya menyiapkan sebuah paragraf untuk ditulisnya nanti:

"... mencintai itu, kadang mengumpulkan segala tabiat menyebalkan dari seseorang yang engkau cintai, memakinya, merasa tak sanggup lagi menjadi yang terbaik untuk dirinya, dan berpikir tak ada lagi jalan kembali, tapi tetap saja engkau tak sanggup benar-benar meninggalkannya". 

-Kashva kepada Astu-

nyampah lalala

hai hai *dadah unyu jiji
woy woy saya stres woy, besok saatnya dan tibalah waktunya nilai IP saya muncul HAHAAHAHA *ketawa garing.
Tadi di sms ama si krisno
krisna : 'eh ip mu berapa?'
aku: 'belom liat'
krisna: 'kan bisa ngitung dewe dol dari nilai yg di jarkom'
aku : 'ooooo bisa ya, baru tau' *kuliah setahun lebih tiada guna kon gak ngerti opo opo ckck.
akhirnya saya memutuskan lihat langsung aja di siam besok, biarin deh kena serangan jantung besok kena serangan jantung deh. Naudzubillah.
baguskan lah nilai saya ya Allah, jangan turun ya Allah IP nya plis eee *komatkamitkomatkamit
Oiya, ngomong2 masalah ip, buat si agung semangat ya bro ! Hehe, kamu keren kok, pinter gitu.

Anyway, aku baru balik dari sby loh *trus kenapa vit? gapapa haha gakpenting.
Baru nyampe jam setengah 9 naek kereta ekonomi tadi bareng keke, asya, risa, ama desy *ngiritbrayy nginep nebeng makan nebeng di rumah mas riki gak apalah ya *yang ini menjurus ke malu2in
Dengan keadaan bokong semakin tepos baru nyampe rumah eeh udah di sms si sofyan 'uda selese proposalnya?'
dengan senyam senyum mesum bales 'belooooom sof, ntar lagi yaaa hehe' berharap ampunan ketupat.
Trus aku gambar2 gak jelas trus tak edit2 gak jelas pake potosop *semakin lama akhirnya proposal selesai.

Iya memang gak jelas, gak bakat blas. Bakatnya molor ama makan alhamduillah. Walau ngalor ngidul dan tidak fokus, akhirnya proposal selese *prokprokprok dengan motivasi kuat biar besok gak dimutilasi si sofy.

Aaa sumpah bulan depan bakal sibuk. Deadline surat2 bem. Deadline pkm. Deadline dapet pacar. Eh yang terakhir coret hahaha. Sudahlah bersyukur dan berusaha pasti bisa bismillah ya Rabb.
Tapi tapi .. kenapa Jung Yong Hwa cakep ya Allah?

Ngelantur. Udahan ah bye.

Someday..

An awesome book with awesome people.

I have a dream that someday I have my own school with these fussy kids.

Care the kids. Educate them. Help them.

I wannna see them laugh loudly or cry like a baby.

Learn many things from them. About life. About to be thankful.

Dear God, could I chase it?

If You read this. I hope You want to grant it for me someday :)

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

It's a super super late night. Yes I know, I CAN'T SLEEP OH YEEAH. I don't know what I'm just thinking actually. I just remember that when I got so down. I'm much like read this. Feels like, It always give me newly energy somehow. Everybody knew this man inspiring many people. Including me I think. And one of the most owesome speech is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, on June 12, 2005. It's always, always and always awesome wherever and whenever I read.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

"Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life".

My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation – the Macintosh – a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.

""Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle".

"As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle".

My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.
This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary".

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off.

" Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you".

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.

Thanks God :)

A few monts ago, my friends (endah, dian) and I did a scientific paper project. And yesterday, the announcement was existed. Yeah, we got it Alhamdulillah :) But still, it's a long long long way to go. Okey, honestly I am not too sure about, but don't we must try it before, right?

And now, we got some headache to finish this project, seems like this whole holiday I just stuck at home.

Fighting !

That's us! :D

 

Here are some of my friends who got this project too :))

There are many another friends too, but I can't capture it because I have to find one by one from about seven thousands participant, white flag.

And then, congrats.